by Lee Davy
Poker gets a bad rap from time to time, but at the heart of all the begging, cheating and borrowing lies a game that continues to stand the test of time.
Because people absolutely love it.
Here are 9 reasons why you should be playing online poker instead of reading this load of old nonsense.
1. You Never Have to Leave Your Bed
Let’s be honest.
How many of you hate getting up in the morning?
How many of you feel like your eyelids are being ripped apart when the alarm drills into your earhole with the alacrity of a howling cat?
Online poker players don’t have to get out of bed. They don’t have an alarm clock. Half of them even sleep with their laptops (I’m not even joking). No need to move, no need to brush your teeth. None of that annoying crap. Just roll over, open up your little baby, log on and start registering.
2. People Become Your Slaves
With just one five-minute break per hour, online poker players don’t have time for trivial things such as cooking, eating or breathing. They are far too busy focusing on 24-tables to have time for any of that old nonsense.
hire own slaves.
For the young grinders this slave is your mother. She makes you food, brings you refreshments and some of them even feed you. For the middle-aged grinders they have their wives, husbands and children. The only people who are screwed in this regards are the single. Get a life.
3. It’s a Social Leveler
Life it pretty tough.
It doesn’t matter what our values are there is a societal hierarchy that puts each one of us into our place from a very young age. There are bullies and people who get bullied. There are extroverts and there are introverts. There are people who get chosen first to join the football team, and there are those that seemingly have their back glued to the gym wall.
But it’s life.
Not in the online poker world. In this world you can be whomever you choose. Do you want to be The Rock from WWE wrestling? Go for it. Do you want to be Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones? Why not. Do you want to be Beyoncé Knowles? Shake it girl.
Nobody can see you.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about.
4. Be a Chat Room Bully
Do you have arms like sticks? Can you see your ribs underneath your translucent skin? Did you get bullied as a child? Were you not tough enough?
The rules of engagement are different online. When the gloves come off it’s your fingers that do the damage – not your knuckles.
Do you think someone just played a hand like a fish? Tell them…. feel the exhilaration. Get it off your chest.
Be the chat room bully you have always wanted to be.
5. You Don’t Have to Get a Real Job
Online poker isn’t just a fun game to play; the very best can actually earn some money… real money.
Imagine being able to play poker for a living. It would mean you wouldn’t have to get a real job.
What better incentive is there than that?
6. No National Insurance or Tax
Ok… so this rule only applies in certain countries, but if you are living in one of those countries then BOOM!
There is a reason the rich and the famous bugger off to tax havens. They like to keep their hard earned cash. If you are living in a country that doesn’t tax poker winnings, and poker is your job, then is there any better feeling in the world?
This is why the UK has such a diverse culture. They are all online poker players.
7. You Can Blame Variance When You Are Crap
One of the beauties of the intricate mix of skill and luck in poker is the ability to tell lies.
When you know you are crap, and don’t want to harm your ego, just tell everyone that you are losing because of variance.
It works for me.
8. You Can Tell Everyone You Are Great When in Fact You are Just a Luckbox
The great thing about poker is in the short-term luck wears the crown.
This means you can be a complete and utter imbecile and still develop the belief that you are amazing. Some people even get so lucky that they develop careers spanning 30-years, never get any better, and still win enough money to keep up the charade that they actually know what they are doing.
9. You Don’t Have to Talk to Anyone
Let’s be honest here, we can count the people who we talk to, and are interesting, on one hand. How much time do you waste in work, or socially, listening to absolute nonsense about nonsense you just don’t care about?
Well if you play online poker you don’t have to talk to anyone and you can still earn a living.
Anyone except your slave I guess…